I've started working towards a new goal! I'll be running two half marathons in the fall. The Kelowna 1/2 and the Las Vegas 1/2. I was tired and feeling sick when I headed out this morning (Mothers' Day, too!) to meet the group I'll be training with and waited a little nervously for the pep talk to be finished so we could head out. I didn't know what distance we'd be running or what the intervals were going to be, so I was relieved when we were told it was 12 k starting with 8/2 and then switching to 8.5/1.5. I knew I could handle that, even if I wasn't feeling 100%. I wasn't sure if it was leftover from crappy eating during my rest week or whether I've started to come down with the virus the rest of the family has had, but as I set out, the sore throat, tight chest and slightly achy body feelings disappeared and my run legs settled under me. Breathing was good and it just felt so good to move after a week's rest. It was warm and windy, but running the Three Bridges Run was awesome! It was the first time I've run it instead of cycling it and it was fine! I got back to our start point, stretched with the group, then headed for quiet, solo CWT in the river. It was a nice end to the first of what will be an interesting journey. I was head-achy when I got home, but coffee and Tylenol have solved that and my energy is coming back a little, but I'm still dragging butt. I think part of it is viral and the other part is emotional. Lots going on in my head!
Having started checking out running blogs, I came across the mention of a number of Disney runs. I have to admit that a great big part of me wants to do both the Tinkerbell 1/2 (or 10K) and the Princess 1/2. How demented am I to want to run with wings or some princess get-up. I dislike all the stuff that Disney represents in terms of objectification of women, yet running is so counter intuitive. Women conquered the prejudice against women running distance nearly 40 years ago, so taking back some of the whimsy and fun also seems like a great idea. Part of me still wants to play pretend and my darling daughter just isn't there, yet. My need for escape (wings, etc.) is growing rather than diminishing. Lately my dreams (and daydreams) are all about running away from everything. It feels like everything is confining me. Work, kids, husband, family, pets, community.... I want it all to go away. I pretty much have the life I was building towards (except I live in a crappy house, in a crappy neighbourhood with big ugly motorhome and a ton of trash in the carport). Gratitude is hard to come by at the moment,except for my kids. It's a struggle to come home at the end of the day. I've been using work and working out as my reason to delay as long as possible, but that's only going to work until the end of the school year. At that point, I could be completely screwed because I'll have a whole summer with house, husband and kids and nothing else to do. I better figure this shit out quickly or I'm going to snap over the summer.
Unfortunately, Tinker Bell's pixie dust isn't going to let me fly away to Neverland.
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