I'm sitting on the ferry again - only a little over a month since the last time - getting ready to run a 10 k with my brother. I'm looking forward to the running and some bike riding. I'm also celebrating. My Masters degree is officially completed. My grades are posted and my ETEC 590 Capstone e-portfolio is complete and passed. I'll cross the stage in May and receive my MET!
You would think that this would wrap things up so neatly - new possibilities for my career. A new accomplishment in my life to be proud of! I do celebrate these things, but so much is also seriously messed up in my life.
I've never been more confused and distressed in my relationship. The last time I went through this kind of emotional upheaval, I would have been in my late 20's/early 30's when I finally decided I should just give up on men altogether and live a personally fulfilling single life. I'd been through two rather awful relationships and felt used and disgusted with myself for being so incredibly stupid.
So, what do I need to learn here? My big questions are whether to continue in my school or begin looking at administration or even whether to consider looking outside the education field. The other question is about my marriage. It's time to see a marriage counsellor or call it quits, because I can't keep going like this. I'm too confused and too unhappy with the status quo. I've changed and our relationship hasn't. I get that Mark is in pain, but perhaps this year of misery is his own body telling him that something is really wrong in his life, too.
Either way, we need help if we're going to figure out how to fix it or end it.
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