Undertow, beaten down or flow?

The last 24 hours has felt overwhelming. Too much to take in, too much to do, just too....
Fortunately, I have wonderful friends and colleagues who remind me to look after myself. I will do that exact thing and try to regroup.

It's been such an amazing time in my life. The last 5 months have reminded me to live fully again. To rediscover the things that help me feel joy has been such a blessing. Rediscovery comes at a price, though. Things are not perfect. Change leads to friction when you are no longer the person you once were. The most surprising thing is to discover that the journey you thought you were on is headed in a different direction than you originally anticipated.

Now, I've had some pretty significant changes over my life. Pregnancy at 16 changes how you view your body, relationships and ultimately your sense of self. It was definitely a sense of drowning and the rising to the surface again - many years later. It took me so long to sort out who I was and that I didn't need to be with a partner to define my value. Once I realized that, I was able to meet someone very solid and compatable. At least, I thought I had done that. It's so weird to think that 19 years later, I still was totally living my life for someone else - again. I have to learn how to negotiate that balance of being myself and having things that are important to me while supporting someone I love.  The undertow is so tempting to float along with - it's easier - but it's time to swim.